Monday, January 22, 2007

mad mommy monday

Today will be a silent day for me, at least verbally. One of those things where if you can’t say something nice, blah blah blah. My boss is already grousing over in her corner of the lab and what I want to tell her would get me fired for sure.

Trip to Charlotte was great, as usual. I practiced every day (somehow I’m still maintaining NaYoPracMo), we walked around one of Charlotte’s posh neighborhoods, enjoying the relatively mild weather and brilliant sunlight, and we went to see Children of Men. It’s unbelievably good. Violent, but not gratuitously so – and some moments of breathtaking beauty. I’m still processing it. It’s important, though. Despite its post-apocalyptic setting, it brings the reality of our world as it is now right in front of your face. The social commentary is a little heavy-handed, but I’ll forgive almost anything to see Michael Caine play an old stoner hippie – and so spectacularly well.

Cuaron deserves an Oscar. So does Clive Owen. They won’t even be nominated, though, given the late release and sadly understated publicity for this film.

Anyway. Brian and Duck had a wonderful weekend together, too. Great for both of them, because since the Spanking, she’s wanted nothing to do with him.

Baby A hung out with us for a while on Sunday afternoon while Todd and Pamela did some more house-hunting around here. Rough process, especially in the winter; there’s just not much on the market.

This morning was wretched. Waking up my own self was manageable. Duckie was having none of it. It resulted in another spanking – this one administered myself. The threat was out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I’m not going to threaten something and not follow through. She calmed down and paid attention fairly quickly afterwards, but then freaked out demon-style in the car on the way to school because she wanted her *&#@((^ mittens.

God, there has just got to be a better way to deal with this. I suppose I just need to get up earlier and get ready myself before trying to rouse the rabble. Get over this whiny feeling of “it’s unfair!” that I’m the one who has to do it. I’m the morning person, after all, even if three days a month I couldn’t feel less like one.

Make sure she gets to bed earlier. Start the night before? Talk about setting aside her pretty nightgowns for a while until she’s old enough to get dressed on her own in the morning. Then again, how do we administer such a policy, where the consequences of bad behavior in the morning aren’t put into place until later that night? I’m all about some natural consequences, but what do you do when she just won’t get out of bed?

I’m totally at a loss.

So I’m wretched this morning, too. I’m deathly pale from monthly anemia, I haven’t even brushed my hair this morning, and I’m just all-around cranky. But I did manage to shower and brush my teeth. There’s that. And I’m not living in a refugee camp. There’s that, too. Hard to see Children of Men and forget the reality of my own dumb-lucky situation as a middle-class American citizen.

So, OK. Pony up and get over it. Happy *&^%*# Monday, y'all.


SB Gypsy said...

Gosh, I wish I could pull a sure fire wake up method out of my hat, but I've never been a morning person, and it gets pretty ugly if anyone gets in my way in the AM.

Perhaps if you work out a "put the pretty nighty away now, since you won't get up" ritual in the morning. Might just make her more stubborn.

That's the problem with taking away stuff. My son got to the point where he had nothing left for me to take away, and then there's no leverage.

Is she old enough for a calendar and gold shiny stars?? With a treat at the end of the week if she's perfect?? Or even a higherarchy of treats, depending on how perfect she managed to be?

Yogamum said...

Gosh, little ones can be difficult when it comes to these things!

My thoughts:

How about positive rewards for positive behavior? First, for every two days there's no morning struggle, she gets a treat (something she likes to do, a special trip to the park, whatever). Let her pick the treat, make a chart of some kind that she gets to put a sticker on after a successful morning. Then eventually you stretch it to four, five, six, days and finally you phase it out. Do this with much excitement and positivity!

I have been known to take a child to school in his/her pajamas, carrying them bodily if necessary. The teachers didn't mind at all. They've seen everything.

The other thing that helps is if you can stay calm enough to not appear to react to the conflict. Yeah, I'm still working on that with my 10 year old...

andi said...

YM, I've thought about that occasionally. This morning I have wondered what kind of DSS visit I would get if I just plunked her outside in her pajamas. You know, just to demonstrate how cold it is. Unfortunately that won't work in the summertime - she would probably just jump on her bike and haul ass down the road.

I'm seriously considering the calender-sticker thing. Not sure what I could offer her that's special and not bad for you (brownie/movie etc.) Hey, maybe popcorn would work? She loves popcorn and she hardly ever gets it. Hmmm.