another quiet day

It’s not like I’m taking a vow of silence or anything. It’s just that I don’t want to spread around my less-than-optimal mood. And silence also seems to prevent me from picking up everyone else's crappy attitudes - my own is lousy enough already.

Skipped afternoon practice yesterday in favor of an early Duck pick-up and a brief discussion with Miss L about the new brass at school. Miss L is singularly unimpressed, which does not bode well for ongoing stability. And just when I was getting all safe and comfortable again. Shit.

We went to the grocery store afterwards and Duckie was fairly well-behaved until we hit the checkout line. Then it became a struggle to keep her in the cart. I’m guessing her fatigue, hunger, and lingering resentment over yesterday morning’s spanking won out over her generally sunny disposition. And how can you expect a three-year-old to resist those damned toys they have hanging in arm’s reach of the checkout line? Bad enough that the candy is down at eye level for kids who are walking, but stringing up kid-bait even for the children in the carts? Shameless.

It did spark an idea, though. Working from the tips I got yesterday from Yogamum and SB_Gypsy, I talked to her once we got home about the balloons she likes so much at the store. (Even the little ones on sticks – she doesn’t care as long as it’s filled with air.) Our deal is that if she helps get herself dressed in the mornings for the rest of the week, I’ll take her back to that very same store and she can pick out a balloon.

This morning she grabbed her favorite jeans out of the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom. (My fault; I should have hidden them better.) Obviously, they were not what she chose the night before. Pick your battles, mom, I told myself.

“OK,” I said. “Wear them if you want. But if you want to wear them, you can put them on by yourself.”

And she did.

*****

I’ve been exhausted for the last two days, most likely due to the female cycle thing. So, slow and short practices Sunday and Monday night. Back to afternoon practice today. Kinda nice, though, to remind myself that I can have a late-night practice every now and again, without panicking because I don’t have the time or the space for an afternoon session.

So far, 22 practices in 22 days. Un-freaking-believable. And I’ve lost count of the number of times I would have skipped doing anything if it hadn’t been for this commitment.

*****

I just want a nap. Remember back in school, when they told you to put your head down on your desk? I’d love a good half an hour of that right now.

Maybe this is about caffeine – I’m back down to a biggish cup, and that only in the mornings. (Last week was pretty crazed as far as the caffeine goes. I actually woke up Saturday morning with a dehydration headache because I’d had nothing but coffee all day on Friday. Except for the wine, that is.)

So maybe that’s it. Maybe I just need to find some B complex, see if I’ve got any tucked away in my desk. Maybe I just need to get off my ass, drink more water, and do a for-real yoga practice instead of pissing and moaning about low energy levels.

Bleh.