mild weather

Outside and in. Top half of the cycle early again, so I felt more than willing to double the lexapro last night.

We finally picked a paint color for the living room. Don’t laugh – it’s called “Baked Scone.” I swear I didn’t look at the color name until after I pointed it out, although I still don’t think Brian believes me. I think I’m almost looking forward to painting. Trim kinda sucks, but I really enjoy rolling walls.

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that early morning practice, as much as I love it, is simply not going to happen until Duckie’s nighttime issues are sorted out. It puts too much strain on us as a family – you know, ‘cause when Mom’s tired and unhappy (even when she practiced for a coupla hours this morning) everyone’s miserable. I have a tendency to broadcast my moods – the good ones as well as the bad ones – so it really isn’t fair for me to sacrifice our household wa in the name of yoga. Defeats the whole purpose. And I can always get it long practices on the weekends, thanks to Brian’s continued support.

I’ve been better about regular afternoon practice, and I’ve gotten lucky – no late-afternoon visitors to take up my yoga studio here at work (the conference room.) I’ve pushed it a little this week. It’s worth it, although my body’s feeling the effects. I may skip on Friday or do a lighter routine.

Balance is improving on both digasana b and uttitha hasta padangusthasana. (I threw those names in just to impress YogaMum.) Yeah, I’m still using the strap on the latter. I don’t care. I wouldn’t even begin to be able to get this pose without it. Later when flexibility improves I’m sure I’ll be able to drop the strap, but for now I’m happy I can manage a bit of balance at all.

Focus on the breath, I’m told. How am I supposed to focus on the breath when I’m teetering precariously on one leg?

I tried it anyway. Somehow, it helped. So much anxiety was going into when I was going to fall, how I was going to fall, and how hard it would be to get back into the pose – totally distracting. Letting that go even for a few seconds at a time was a big improvement. Then I got all jacked up on the not-falling bit, getting all excited (look, Ma, no feet!) and I fell anyway.

Early this week I tried to get into bakasana (crow) without starting off with the head to the floor. I could see how it would eventually work – but I definitely need more arm strength to manage it. The end result was a hilarious oopsy forward roll off the mat. I was glad there wasn’t anything in front of me. I suppose a background in stage combat really does do some good. At least I remembered to tuck my head.

Sore in strange places – especially in the upper and middle back muscles. I’m thinking it has to do with activating the arms – these would be the muscles I’d use if I had wings.

My friend P in Columbia has adopted some of FlyLady’s techniques for managing a household effectively. One of the 11 commandments is “Don’t try to do two projects at once. ONE AT A TIME.” That’s got to mean big projects, right? Because I just don’t think I could live without multitasking the little stuff. I can’t just stand in front of an oven waiting four minutes to turn the cookies. Not when there’s laundry to fold and dishes to do.

So after four batches of cookies last night, folding clothes, making dinner, doing dishes, blah blah blah, I found myself kinda worn out. And too sore to want to sleep, so I did an unusual late-night five-minute legs-up-the-wall series. It was really nice.

A bonus point on not practicing in the mornings: I can wear real pajamas to bed, especially the silk PJ pants I got a couple of months ago. Light as a whisper, they are, and since it’s turned cold I can’t wear them out anymore on errands and weekends. So even though I got up with Duck twice last night, I still managed to appreciate the fact that I could sleep until six, and that I was wearing silk pajamas.

God, I’m so spoiled, and I feel so guilty about the entitlement sometimes.

But still, it’s divine to have silk pajamas.