Friday, October 06, 2006

my monthly bitch session

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I am feeling Supremely Bitchy today. Although it’s an improvement from last night. Between my fatigue from being up since 4 AM, a very late dinner, Brian’s stress about an upcoming personal challenge, and the onset of cramps, we did not have the best of times. Which is unusual for us.

Doing my best to refrain from speaking – or thinking much – at all. Probably the safest course of action.

The cramps are new. Rather, the usual cramps manifest in constant low back pain, a steady tug that feels like a spring wound too tightly. But yesterday when I was on my way out the gate from Duckie’s school, I was stopped in my tracks by a sharp knife of pain to my lower belly. It was gone in an instant, but in that half-second I just about fell down – mostly from surprise.

They’re still showing up occasionally. Nothing I can’t deal with, but this is a new way of experiencing the monthly cycle, for sure. I’m still going to practice this afternoon, but I’ll take it easy, and no major inversions.

Didn’t make it up this morning for practice. Just too freaking tired. I wonder if maybe I could try alternating mornings to keep from being a tired nasty mama every night. At least until I can settle into a routine.

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Tomorrow is thrift store day. I’ve just got to find some jeans that fit before LEAF. None of the styles out right now work for my body – the low-rise jeans are a huge embarrassment. I refuse to spend all day trying to keep them from falling down. I’m also on the lookout for yoga pants – as usual.

Will try to run the lake Saturday – in intervals this time, so I don’t wreck the knee again.

Will try to make applesauce so I don’t waste another freaking peck of fresh apples.

Will try to fold laundry. And doubtless we’ll watch Howl’s Moving Castle for movie night tonight. Again. I’ve lost count.

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I’ve been avoiding writing about current events. I did try to post something on the general concept of Taking Responsibility but it was so snarky and sarcastic and plain ol’ mean that I deleted it.

I started another blog just to hold the name, on a day when I was especially… er… dismayed by the state of the world. I’ve made two posts so far, and those were both several weeks ago. And I can’t see updating it every day. There are plenty of dedicated bloggers out there saying things that need to be said. I can see me being a very unhappy person if I spend daily time on a current events blog. It would be hard to keep the posts to less than 1000 words. It would be a soul-killer. I just don’t have it in me right now.

So that’s where I stand today. If you feel like it, tell me how you stand today, too.

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