i suppose i'm grateful that my hormones and the accompanying mood swings shift quickly enough that i can pin it down to the minute. it will make charting both ends of my cycle that much easier, and if i can see the shift coming by about 12 hours, i can up my lexapro in time to avoid the temporary madness.
at least, that’s how it’s supposed to work. see, i’ve been happily stable except for the twice monthly hormone shifts on both ends of the cycle. my pdoc and i have discussed it at length.
“still having problems?” she says.
“yeah, it’s just that i’m good until the ovulation and PMS parts, and then it’s just like i get… well…”
can you describe a rabid wolverine as “agitated”? well, i suppose you could.
“that’s one way to put it, yeah.”
“ok. well, we could put you on prozac.”
“yes. it’s being used to treat PMS now.”
“er… last time, we talked about maybe doubling the lexapro for a few days each month to kinda ride out the hormone shifts. can we maybe try that first before we try another medication?”
“stick with what we got? sure.”
hence the bimonthly medication adjustment. which is fine, but i have to be able to anticipate when to adjust. my cycles are generally pretty regular – but they’re not exactly 28 days. i have yet to calculate exactly what they are, which is the challenge right now.
i’ve had a couple of borderline manic days, most likely triggered by my workshop registration and the ensuing anxiety. maybe that’s a common precursor to the shift; i’ll have to track it to see. yesterday afternoon, right around 3:45, a dull ache settled into my head, my stomach reported an icky wave of nausea, and the idea of going to buffy’s house to celebrate sam’s birthday became much less appealing.
damn it, but it seems i’ve forgotten how to socialize in larger groups of people. and i used to be so good at it, too.
so after exhibiting an alarming lack of patience, manifested in very sharp language directed at my husband and my daughter, i doubled my lexapro last night, which helped immediately - or overnight, anyway, and that's just as good.