When you follow a bunch o’blogs, you run across some folks who think like you, some folks who like the same movies or music or food as you, and some whose lives, oddly enough, seem to parallel yours at strange and frequent moments.
My friend James fits neatly into the last category. This, by the way, is the only category into which he will ever fit.
Last week, while I was going through a raging attack of PMS-induced paranoia and emotional distress, James was circling the toilet of a nasty depressive episode that made me nod my head and say, “Yep, that’s about it.”
And this morning I checked in with his personal blog to find this glorious entry about his latest encounter with alcohol. His binge was Saturday, mine was Sunday, but we both ended up miserable – his head in the toilet, mine under a pillow and nodding over my desk.
This is, of course, a roundabout way of saying I got pretty ‘faced yesterday afternoon. We meant to go to church and see Chronicles of Narnia – instead we ended up at Hannah Flannigan’s talking about religion and philosophy, knocking back pints of Killian’s. At least until about 3:30 or 4, when I realized I wasn’t going to be worth much if Brian had to pour me into the car on his own. Jump-started things a bit with a double-espresso-mocha-latte next door at Black Bear and refused his offer of a Jager-bomb several times.
We managed to giggle through a quick trip to the grocery store then went to pick up Duckie, who had a wonderful time over at her friend’s house – they’re in the same class at school, and her friend’s guardians are good friends of ours, so it works out nicely. When we got home, I quickly re-established dominance by plunking her into the tub and getting her dressed for bed while Brian made dinner. (Look, I know it sounds awful, but Duckie really does appreciate knowing who’s boss. For the most part.) I took my meds and an aspirin to stave off the headache that was looming with the impending hangover and accompanying blood sugar crash. We laid down on the sofa and watched a little Finding Nemo (I’ve really got to get it on DVD), ate some supper and went to bed.
Today I’m feeling pretty sluggish, to say the least – and that in the morning, which is my best time. Coffee is not helping. Haven’t tried Mozart yet. Completely unmotivated to do anything, even staying upright in my chair. But I refuse to take a half-day’s vacation to mend the damage done by my own intemperance.
From my reaction to yesterday’s indulgences and my birthday binge, I’m getting the impression that it’s probably not a good idea to have any more than a drink or two with the meds I’m on right now. And that’s fine – really, I don’t need to be slamming pints terribly often anyway. In cases where a change of perspective is urgently needed, a glass of red does the trick just fine. It’s just that Killians is so much better on tap.
We did have a great afternoon together, though. We both agreed that instead of waiting until I’m at my breaking point to get some adult time, we ought to plan on it regularly – predictive maintenance, as it were.
Look out for pig sh!t falling from the sky.
Anyway I thought this was a good time to highlight James’ personal blog, and to mention his other online journals – the Genius of Insanity is an interesting perspective on current affairs, but my favorite by far is the Buddhist Blog, which is how I ran across him in the first place. This is James sharing his own spiritual journey with the rest of us – complete with teachings from his favorite mentors, his own comments, and some really stunning, restful images. I don’t know how many times I’ve been at my wit’s end and just happened to click by, getting just what I needed – usually a lovely clean breath of fresh spiritual air.
Just so you know, James is also a talented artist. I wish I had a link to his turtle painting - it's really gorgeous and I am still tempted to buy a print.
And I'm so unmotivated I can’t even figure out a decent close to this post.