better today

This is the post i didn’t want to write, but I thought I would have to yesterday. I was gonna give it one more day before I freaked out:

DRAFT:

I’ve lost my wedding rings. i’ve been looking for them for four days now and I can’t find them.

I’ve somehow misplaced two years of undeveloped 35 mm film. I had it all nicely collected after Christmas and now it’s gone. I’m terrified that it might have been thrown out when we got rid of all the boxes and trash in the house.

I shouldn’t be attached to these objects – they’re just things, after all. They symbolize my connection to my husband, and memories of my daughter’s early years *sob* but I am still connected to them both, so I really shouldn’t need them, should I?

But I’m still brokenhearted.

Then, yesterday, after boo-hooing on Brian’s chest about these and other matters (see below), I found my rings, in the side pocket of my cargo pants that I stole from Brian in the first place, and he found the film.

This began to balance out the news I got yesterday afternoon. Our all-time favorite teacher at Duckie’s preschool resigned “for personal reasons.” I was wrecked. Duckie will be, too, once she figures out that she won’t be seeing Miss Lisha again. Miss Diane is not, so far, a favorite – although to be fair, I haven’t really met the woman. This will be a pain in the ass to schedule. Most of the teachers work from 8 to 4 – my hours exactly. Not a big deal to miss afternoon yoga (I can always practice before bed,) but I can’t get out of here before 4; there’s just no way. *sigh*

I’ll reserve judgement until the new teacher for Duckie’s room starts next week. I’ll see how Duckie likes her, and how she manages Duck’s temperament. Miss Lisha reveled in it: “I just love her spirit!” she’d say. “She just gets so awfully mad and stomps that little foot, and she’s so strong-willed. She’s just fantastic.” I fear that we’re going to hear less positive things from Miss Diane. Duckie doesn’t seem to listen very well to people she doesn’t like, and she can sense weakness. She knows when she can push your buttons, and will frequently do so (you know, like every Monday evening.)

And until then I’ll put a call in to a local preschool that’s just opened – it’s a Montessori-style school, so maybe that will be more fun for her anyway. We’re paying enough for child care; we might as well be getting our money’s worth.

*****

Back on the yoga wagon yesterday. Started with 5 rounds each of Surya A & B. By the time I got through the 2nd Surya B I was getting light-headed and nauseous and had to rest. I’ve recently discovered that all that harping on planting and pushing through the back foot for Vira i actually works – which has made the lunge that much more intense. Likely why I was tired after two rounds.

Tim said that he did the Malas for the New Year. That’s 108 sun salutations. I would have been flailing at ten. Maybe it’s a good goal for the rest of the year.

So, mood improving slowly but surely. Eye is less puffy, face is clearing up some (a homemade oatmeal-honey facial mask will do wonders for oily skin.) Brian has been incredibly gentle with me over the last few days.

I still wonder how it can happen that two people so different in our strongly held opinions about, say, Dick Cheney, can end up as soulmates. Anyway, there it is. Our daughter, being a lovely intelligent Libra, will probably develop into a gifted diplomat.