several of our employees are retiring today. they have snacks in the canteen. snacks? no, well, it’s kinda more like a junk food/sugar orgy. i’m not gonna go into the details, they’re too painful.
i went in a few minutes early to make sure i had time to make my oatmeal before the line started. the smell of chocolate and sugar hit me at the door and almost brought me to my knees with longing. it’s like putting a recovering alcoholic at an open bar – seriously, the addiction is that powerful. i wanted to cry.
it’s better now that i’m back at my desk. i can see people but not the food. at some point i’ll have to stick me head in and say happy retirement or some such bullshit, but i’ll need to get my blood sugar stabilized beforehand.
see, i could indulge – but there’s a party for a good friend next week and i’m doing a lot of the desserts; there will be wonderful decadent food there, and the week after i’m going to see my friend in charlotte – we usually make pie.
so is this worth it? would i actually be able to eat one chocolate chip cookie and leave the rest alone?
not today. it would turn ugly.
at dinner last night, brian asked how practice went. i shrugged and changed the subject – not because i didn’t want to discuss it, but because practice was fairly unremarkable. still, i got on the mat, and that’s something, right? almost an hour, and i damned sure didn’t want to come up out of savasana at the end. which is, for me, the sign of an effective practice.
god save me. they’re gonna think i’m rude if i don’t eat. ok, it’s time to step in for a moment. wish me luck.