short for once

Had my physical exam Monday afternoon. I was prepared for the pap smear, but not for the rectal (eeesh!) She was quick, though, and it was over before I knew it. We reviewed my bloodwork and everything seems to look fine – all my numbers are well within the acceptable range (including cholesterol and liver function) so I must be doing something right. The only thing she saw was that my iron level is a little low – borderline anemic. So I suppose I’ll have to bump up the spinach. Luckily it seems that alcohol aids iron absorption, which might encourage me to finally open one of the bottles of red wine that’s been hanging out on top of the baker’s rack for the last month or so.

We also talked about the weight issue. Even though I’ve dropped a lot of the baby weight, I’m still about 20 pounds over what I was when I got pregnant. And even that was twenty pounds over the recommended weight for my age and height. "How do I lose it?" I asked, dreading the answer.

“How many calories do you eat a day?” she asked. Oh, crap. Here it comes.

“Er… I’m guessing about 1800,” I admitted. This is complete bullshit, because it doesn’t include the snack binges at night when no-one’s looking.

She said, “OK, well, to lose weight, you’re going to have to go down to about 1200 a day.”

My eyebrows must have shot up to the ceiling. “Twelve hundred? As in, one thousand, two hundred? Seriously?”

“Yeah,” she said. “And if you can manage 900 on some days that would help, too.”

Nine hundred????? Without nicotine or diet pills??? Are you out of your mind?

So how exactly do I do this, knowing full well that my mood stability is directly tied to my blood sugar? And that I am still trying to stay pretty active, not to mention having to keep up with a two-going-on-three year old? And that it’s pie season? (Then again, it’s always pie season in my world.)

Start from the beginning, I guess. Figure out what I'm really eating now, what my favorite meals cost in terms of calories. Plot out a strategy to control portion sizes, to drop down in increments. Start talking calories, now that I know how much fiber is in just about anything. Eat small portions, but often. I've done this before. Surely I can do it again. Just as soon as I get my summer pies made.

In the end, she said, “Just do your best. You’re working full-time, you’re exercising, you’re running a household. And you’re on Lexapro, which will make it really difficult to lose.”

Speaking of Lexapro, I lost the last half of my prescription late last week, so I’ve been on the Lamictal only for the last five days or so. It hasn’t been as bad as I’d thought, so I’ll be asking my pdoc about dropping it entirely for a while and see what happens. Maybe come up with another solution for the twice-monthly hormone rampages.

The cold-turkey solution has been tough – dizziness, fatigue, and general stupidity have been common. And I worry about what happens when the Lexapro gets completely out of my system. So I’ll talk to pdoc, talk to my insurance company to see if they’ll cover replacement meds, you know, jump through all the hoops.

In the meantime, I might have to watch Howl’s Moving Castle one more time before I return it to Netflix. Absolutely five stars, y’all. And Duckie LOVED it. Thanks for the recommendation, James.

Here's hoping everyone had a good Independence Day.