Monday, March 06, 2006

the oscar blog

the most exiting seconds of the evening were those just before the awards started, when i was rooting and praying so hard for jon stewart not to screw up. goes to show what a groupie i am.

on to the subject at hand…

What I Learned From The Oscars This Year

jon is brilliant no matter how stupid or self-stuffed hollywood is. if he is attacked for being political, the attacks are ignorant and idiotic, considering the nature of the films nominated for best picture. my favorite quote, after another montage of footage about controversial and “hard-hitting” movies, was, “and on another note, susan sarandon called after the last montage and donated $50,000. good stuff.” or something like that. duckie didn’t undertand my howls of laughter but you know, she’s only two and a half.

second favorite quote. “hey could you show the audience at home that big statue of oscar behind me? you think if we all get together and pull it down we can bring democracy to hollywood?” geez but these folks are dense – or too afraid they’ll offend someone to laugh out loud.

george clooney was hotter last night than i ever imagined he could be. i wish i’d been liveblogging his acceptance speech for best supporting actor – he can say the most controversial things with complete confidence, and a stunning lack of consideration for what the ^&*$ anyone else thinks. just SO hot.

asymmetrical dresses that contain one side of the bust and not the other should not be worn by ladies who are very amply endowed. listen up, salma, for the next awards ceremony.

hollywood is suffering from a serious case of cognitive dissonance. you have all these fantastic, thoughtful, well-written and well-produced films that thankfully push the envelope of what’s considered popular and acceptable by mainstream america, but the theme of this year’s awards was “a return to glamour?” wtf????

and oh the sad, funereal colors of the gowns. with the exception of nicole kidman’s strikingly glowing white sheath and naomi watts’ pink fluffy disaster, most of the others were shades of colors so dark they might as well have all been black. (yeah, i know, there were some other exceptions, but i could care less about j lo.) oh, what a disappointment the fashion was this year. i didn’t really get a good taste of the red carpet either, so the lack of full body shots probably has something to do with that.

if russell crowe has a sense of humor, it’s probably tiny enough to fit under his silly shoestring tie.

if you’re going to highlight a great song like traveling through, please oh please have a chorus lip-synching on stage with dolly. the disembodied voice of the background vocals was more than a little disconcerting.

did i mention that jon stewart is brilliant and george clooney is hot? i did?

oh, all right, then i’ll stop stating the obvious and get back to work.

p.s. how could i forget about the tweakers? there were some really nervous folks in the audience last night. as much as i love heath ledger, the boy needed a valium to calm the involuntary tremors of his face (which didn't leave altogether until after the award for best actor was announced.)

and let me just say that reese witherspoon's eyebrows need some work. first, they're almost not there. second, even though they aren't entirely there, they completely upstaged the rest of her face in their odd choreography during her acceptance speech. i mean, i understand being overwhelmed by emotion, reese, but control that shit already. (some snark because i really would liked to have seen charlize win again.)

ok. snark ended for now.


SB Gypsy said...

Dang! I missed Jon Stewart! (couldn't care less about the rest of it...) lol

Kiki said...

you are so right about clooney -- he's the most charismatic man i've seen since cary grant (yes, that long).

Anonymous said...

Russell has a great sense of humour. And I thought he look great last night too. So there!:D

Crabbi said...

I was digging George Clooney, too. I've always thought he just a bit too good-looking, but his intelligence and politics more than make up for that. Oh hell, I guess I can get past his stunning handsomeness. :)

andi said...

dear anonymous,

i'm allowing for the possibility of a sense of humor - i just wish it had made an appearance at the oscars.

don't get me wrong - i used to have a massive crush on russell crowe - but i think my allegiance shifted when i was on maternity leave and saw two episodes of clooney ER every day.