Thursday, March 23, 2006

no mexico for me

last night brian and i were having a dinner conversation about the possibility of moving to mexico. one of our plants down there is having some quality issues, and he thought it would be fun to go down there and "live like kings" as he put it.

before you jump up and down, please be advised that this was, after all, a very light-hearted conversation and not at all serious.

a few minutes ago i read this and had to call him.

"Deal's off," I said. "We can't move to Mexico."

Short silence, then he joined the dance. "Really? Why not?"

"It's too close to Texas," I said, and proceeded to read him the entirety of this article, from which I will quote the critical first three paragraphs.

SAN ANTONIO, Texas - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission’s Carolyn Beck.

Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkenness, Beck said.

If you know Brian at all, you know that nothing ever strikes him speechless. He's usually got some smart-ass comment or rejoinder.

It took him a while to really understand what I was saying. It took a couple more moments for it to sink in.

Then he said, "Well, hell. Just put me some wallpaper up on the jail cell, then, if I ever go to Texas."

Will do, darlin'. Will do.

*to clarify, i have to admit that in my opinion drunks in public (thank you Ron White) who are behaving in a dangerous manner should be detained. then again, so should drunks in private - but because of their dangerous behavior, not because of their drunkenness. know what i mean?

if you read further down in the article you'll notice that the sting operation covered 36 bars, in which they arrested 30 people. so like, what, 1.2 drunks per bar? you gotta imagine those drunks were probably completely blotto. but that doesn't, in my opinion, justify their arrest. probably because i don't agree with the law to begin with.

anyway, the headline for the story was so freaking hilarious i just couldn't help myself - which is, no doubt, what the writers intended.


Kiki said...

funny, i just read an article a week or so ago, in the NY Times, about Americans moving to Merida, Mexico (capital city in the Yucatan peninsula). you can buy a restored, 2-bedroom 2-bath house for about forty grand. santa mierda! it does sound tempting, doesn't it?

Kiki said...

...i meant to say, restored colonial-era house. and it's a looooong way from texas, too!

andi said...

yes, it certainly does!

SB Gypsy said...

I once lived in San Diego (before it became too expensive for the middle class) and the problem with living in Mexico is the bands of lawless men who go around killing, stealing, and kidnapping women for the white slave trade. We would hear every so often of another tourist who just disappeared off the face of the earth, while driving around down there. And the corruption, bribery and so forth, is a tax in itself. I wouldn't move there unless I could afford my own little security force.

If it sounds too good to be true..

oldwhitelady said...

Yes, I hear you... it IS too close to Texas!