Tuesday, April 12, 2005

time for lithium after all?

warning: strong language ahead.



I feel gagged. I feel futile. I feel like I’m screaming at the top of my fucking lungs for these people to hear me and there’s nothing, no acknowledgement, nothing.

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Start over. I won’t post the outpouring of bile I just pounded into the computer. The problem is my stress level is pretty high right now. I walked into work mad and it just spilled right over into the two-hour long pile of bullshit for which I had to take minutes (also known as our annual management review meeting.) They’re starting to get mixed up now. I’m feeling pretty ignored by both my husband and by the management team. I think the management staff has a good reason. I tried to keep my stress levels down, I really tried to be zen about this shit, I swear to God I did, but the sheer amount of bullshit that is passed around at this meeting just got on my last fucking nerve. I certainly wasn’t as smooth and suave as I needed to be to win them over. I just don’t have the patience right now.

Crap.

*sigh*

I hope the rain holds off for long enough for a run around the lake today. I really need it. Something mindless, something good for me, something where I can’t think past the next few steps.

Breathe.

Sending thanks to my boss who just came in for a quick commiserative chat about the waste of the last two hours. At least I'm not the only one bemoaning the lack of common fucking sense around here.

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I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
~John Cleese (1939 - )



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