A Quick Note

Well, our beloved plant manager has called a meeting at 1 today to discuss traceability requirements for safety-related products. I thought I would have some time to develop the insanely complex flowchart that will show how the product will move through the plant (six departments? EEEK!) but I should probably have a draft to bring to the meeting.

So I won't have as much time to post today as I would like. Will update on a few items:

I had a lovely date with my good friend Sonya last night. We went to Fatz and both indulged in their yummy calabash chicken, the baby ate like a pig as usual and then wanted down on the floor. She walked all over that restaurant - I am suddenly very aware of what the next two years are going to be like for me. And I know now why Tammy is so skinny - she's been chasing after her son for the last two years, and apparently that in itself will burn a ton of calories!

I'm loving this rain.

Baby and I are still maintaining a good routine. I have been up at around 5:30 most mornings which has allowed me - believe it or not - FOUR showers this week. Am starting to feel semi-civilized again.

The Zoloft is finally starting to get out of my system completely. I'm a little lightheaded this morning (and yeah, I did eat a small breakfast when I got into work) and a little weepy but otherwise pretty much OK.

Tammy has invited the baby and me to her house for chick flicks and pizza casserole (customized just for me - she's leaving out the green peppers!) And this time the baby can run after the older kids instead of sitting and crying when they leave the room. It ought to be a lot of fun and very relaxing.

Finally I wanted to thank you for reading this. And special thanks to those of you who have left comments - they mean an awful lot to me.

I invite all of you to drop notes when you feel like it. If you're angry, by all means let me know, either here or on the phone or in person. You may not be angry at me now, but if that comes up later, I strongly suggest that you express it instead of swallowing it. I can and will listen. What I won't do is apologize anymore. And I hope that doesn't piss anyone off, but I've said I'm sorry plenty of times and I am not one to indulge in redundancy.

I feel like the best thing I can do now is not wallow in guilt. I can live my life in such a way that perhaps, in time, I can rebuild trust where it's needed (at least from my side of the river)

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I'm at the Biltmore Estate for most of the day tomorrow. I guarantee I'll be entirely over "O Come Emmanuel" by noon. But it's a little extra money, a little more time with my Whiskey Sisters, a little more time to step slightly outside of the Mom Paradigm and that's a good thing, for the most part.

Sunday I hope to drop by the grocery store and by Wal Mart for - DUM DUM DUUUUUUM - a new car seat for the baby, who has more than outgrown her current one. Forward-facing, ho! Onward and upward, as my grandfather says. Other than that I should be home, if anyone feels like calling or dropping by. I'm going to make every effort to get a nice-sized nap in during the afternoon.

Speaking of granddad, he has been given a special award by the state of North Carolina for his volunteer work over the last year - I will get some more details over Thanksgiving and maybe be able to share some pictures with you by then, too. We're awfully proud of him and I'm glad that baby has such good role models in her life.

Working out the transportation issues with husband has been tricky, but we're managing, thanks to the continued support of our friends, especially Sonya, who has played the chauffeur for the baby and me EVERY DAY this week. Thank you, Sonya - for dinner last night, for the rides, and for your continued, stabilizing presence in my life. (I truly hope your car doesn't suffer much from the rough road out to the house.)

My next counseling appointment, in case you were wondering, is next Tuesday at 1 PM. Before that appointment I would love to get a chance to attend to the questions husband asked in his letter - the ones from yesterday's second post.

For now, duty calls. Back to the trenches.

peace and love.