the tortoise, revisited

Yeah, I know I’ve blown the “update every day” promise. It’s been a crazy week both at work and at home and there just hasn’t been time. I’ve tried to make a real commitment to getting the things done here at work that I hate doing, which has resulted in days that go by like circus trains, with each car full of crazy shit that I wish would just leave me alone. In one day this week I’ve dealt with customer complaints, a truckload of product certifications, an internal audit, corrective actions, document control, and work on training presentations for both management and internal auditors.

Brian has been out of town on a sales trip, so when I get home I’ve managed to make dinner, clean up the kitchen and Duckie’s high chair, and pass out. I folded laundry Wednesday night but it’s still in piles on the couch, to Miss Price’s great appreciation. I tried to meditate Monday evening but I was so tired I could only do it for about five minutes. The rest of the week has been a wash as far as that goes.

You might think that regular exercise would help the fatigue, but this week it hasn’t. RB and I have worked in about 30 minutes three times this week and while it’s provided a brief lift in energy, it’s given me just enough to get through chores at home before I deflate like a popped balloon at nine o’clock.

Duckie’s bedtime routine is going splendidly, however, which has really helped. I don’t think she was feeling well last night. She fell asleep in the car on the way home from the grocery store, she didn’t eat much for dinner, and as soon as her bath was done, she was in her room, on the bed, waving her bedtime book at me. Wow. No tears, no whining, just some sleepy restlessness for about fifteen minutes before she fell asleep. I woke up again about an hour later, refreshed enough to finish dishes and indulge in a small cup of ice cream before Duckie woke up again. Changed her diaper, brought her to bed, and didn’t even bother picking up my book before turning out the light and going to sleep.

In other news this week, I cut my hair. Literally. My stylist let me do it myself. She separated my hair into two ponytails, caught up in rubber bands just under my ears, and handed me the scissors. “I’ve never seen anyone want to do this themselves,” she said, “but you’re welcome to.”

I thought I would suffer last-minute hair attachment, but I took the scissors with no small measure of glee and started cutting. There was a lot of hair to cut through, which made it all the more fun. Afterwards, she did a semi-permanent color on it to bring it to a more consistent shade of chestnut brown, with the streaks a subtle dark auburn highlight. Then she went in and leveled out the bob, styled it simply, and I was on my way. It’s been a blast.

The irony is that I cut it to try to simplify my life in some small way, and oddly enough, I’m more aware of my hair now than I was before, when I was just putting it up on top of my head. I think that will pass as I get more used to it, though. I’ll have to invest in some barrettes – the front of it got stuck in my mouth as I was running Wednesday afternoon – ick.

RB’s pace has picked up immensely. She finished the lake in about 20 minutes Wednesday and I took 23:30 – which is a minute and a half less than it took me last week. However, for some reason I’m not handling the tortoise position with the same equanimity I did last week. It stings my pride to be so far behind, and it’s hard to remind myself what I’m doing this for. I did manage to keep up with her for about a minute yesterday, just to see what it felt like, then realized that I would cramp and quit if I kept up that pace for much longer. I expressed my dismay during our cool-down walk, and she reminded me that she used to run track and play basketball in school. She was one of the fastest kids out there. Ha. Just my luck.

I had a great time in Charlotte with my friend Coz last weekend. We hung out on Central Avenue, a very trendy little part of town, and did some window shopping, even tried on a couple of things. I was good – I spent money there on pastries, not clothes (which some would call idiocy, as all I can show for the pastries is less pounds lost over the weekend, but screw it, the lemon bar was fantastic.) I did spend all of two dollars and sixty-nine cents on six shirts for Duckie at the Salvation Army. I’m very pleased – so far, everything fits.

We went to dinner with some of her close friends in Charlotte. It was great to meet them and they made me feel very welcomed. It’s nice to meet a group of people who don’t have a problem with making eye contact, you know? So many folks don’t like to look each other in the eyes – even my boss is bad about that when she’s in training mode at work.

I’m going to make coffee tonight and work on Duckie’s first Renaissance Faire dress. Well… maybe. We’ll see. In any event, if I’m going to do it, I have to do it within the next week, as the Faire is getting close.

I can’t think of anything else right now, and my boss just laid another pile of shipping orders on my desk for certification. Crap. Maybe it’ll feel like a Friday eventually.