before the weekend

Yesterday was a dreary post, wasn't it? If you think that was bad, you should have read some of what else I was writing yesterday. I was trying to put together what I remembered of the night that brought everything to a head, and I realized that it's pretty morbid, pretty macabre, and I haven't even gotten to where I took the pills. Ick. My own capacity for darkness astounds me sometimes. I might use it in a book sometime, but I doubt I will publish it as nonfiction. Too disturbing.

HOWEVER... you should know that I am in a much better place today. As Will said, I continue to have an impressive support group and someone always seems to be around when I need them. Last night Tammy and Bug came over - we were going to watch Joey and Will and Grace but had more fun watching the kids play together. I love it that our kids will grow up together. And I love it that I will be around to watch it happen.

Am planning to try a clean-up effort around this house this evening and another early night. Tomorrow promises to be a great day - grocery shopping in the morning, meeting husband for some special family time at the park in the afternoon (or whenever, we haven't officially scheduled it yet), and no plans yet for Saturday evening. Which is a relief given how hectic the rest of the week has been.

Oh and did I mention - I HAVE WHEELS AGAIN!!!!! Thanks to a very generous offer of help from husband's mom, I was able to pick up the Jeep yesterday, install the new big-girl car seat and enjoy some precious independence. Realizing, of course, that I'm not interested in complete independence anymore - that's first of all a myth and second of all miserable, as I have discovered to my dismay.

Some of my adopted sisters and brothers are having rough times right now, and just as their prayers for me are shooting through the heavens, so are my prayers for their happiness. It's the least I can do.

Please forgive any errors in grammar, syntax or spelling - I've been up to my neck in words all day and it's time to get back to work.

peace, love and turkey.